It's no secret that female's bodies are complex and require a bit of warming up before penetration. Many people are unaware of the intricate details of female anatomy, including the fact that the vulva has erectile tissue, just like the penis. This tissue needs to be aroused to prepare the body for penetration. The process of warming up is often referred to as "foreplay," and it's an essential component of any sexual encounter.
On average, females need around 30 minutes of foreplay before penetration. This time-frame may vary from person to person, but the general consensus is that women require more time than men to become fully aroused. This is where the concept of "arousal gates" comes into play. Passing through each gate allows for enough time to drop into your parasympathetic nervous system, feel safe and honoured, and become fully aroused.
So, what are these arousal gates, and how do they work?
The first gate involves assessing your connection with your partner. Are you making eye contact, communicating effectively, and feeling heard? Building a strong connection with your partner is crucial for a positive sexual experience.
The second gate involves touching on the extremities, such as the arms, legs, hands, and feet. This gentle touch helps to increase blood flow and promote relaxation. We suggest incorporating our massage candle to easily massage your partners body and using the warmth of the oil to increase sensitivity.
The third gate involves touching areas closer to the heart, such as the neck and collarbone. This type of touch can help to increase feelings of intimacy and emotional connection.
The fourth gate involves touching on more intimate areas, such as the breasts, nipples and inner thighs. This type of touch can be highly arousing and prepare the body for more direct stimulation.
The fifth gate involves touching on the outer labia, which can help to increase blood flow to the vulva.
The sixth gate involves touching the inner labia, a highly sensitive area that can be incredibly arousing when stimulated correctly. At this stage, personal lubricants can further enhance sensation and comfort. You may wish to continue using the massage candle oil or switch to our Balm Lube, which melts into a silky, oily consistency when massaged in, heightening pleasure. However, keep in mind that oil-based lubricants should not be used with condoms, as they can weaken the material and reduce effectiveness. If you need a condom-safe option, our natural water-based lube provides a smooth, body-friendly alternative.
Finally, the seventh gate involves penetration. By moving through each gate with patience and exploration, females can become fully aroused, enhancing comfort, pleasure, and connection. This gradual approach allows for a more fulfilling and enjoyable sexual experience, whether penetration is the goal or simply one part of the journey.
This 7-gate process can also be implemented in solo masturbation. We still need to become aroused alone to experience deep pleasure. When reaching the seventh gate, consider using some of our vibrators to assist.
In conclusion, the female body is complex and requires a bit of warming up before penetration. Taking the time to pass through each of the seven arousal gates can help females become fully aroused and ready for sexual activity. Communication, connection, and touch are all essential components of this process, and by prioritising foreplay, couples can have a more positive and enjoyable sexual experience.
