Herpes Advice & Personal Experience

Herpes Advice & Personal Experience

We interviewed one of our amazing community members about her journey with HSV2, also known as Herpes. We are so grateful to her for sharing her story. We hope this can help further normalise Herpes, and educate our community about HSV2. 

My story

I was first diagnosed with HSV2 last year in March 2021. With HSV you can’t guarantee when the virus is transmitted as exposure could have occurred years ago. It can lie dormant in your nervous system for years before having a outbreak it’s similar to chicken pox. However I think it was transmitted from my boyfriend at the time. I came home from work at 1am after being called into work for an emergency. My partner woke up after I jumped into bed and things got frisky he gave me oral. That morning as we woke up and had breakfast I noticed a small pimple like spot on his mouth. It raised concern in my mind but I was scared to ask if it was a cold sore. As the day went on I was at work and it was honestly eating me alive and distracting me from looking after my patients. As a health conscious person I know that it’s a no no to perform oral sex with a cold sore. I eventually gained the courage to ask him if he had a cold sore. His response was his only had a cold sore once in his life and he thinks it’s just a pimple. I tried to forget about it as it presented the same way as pimple on his lip. Three nights later I woke up feeling uncomfortable down there and I felt two lumps on my outer lip that stung when I touched I was like oh no.. my heart sunk I got up to the bathroom and had a look. It could have easily had been razor rash or two pimples but in my heart I knew it was herpes. I was beside myself, I booked in at the sexual health clinic had swabs and the results came back as positive for HSV2 which is commonly known as genital herpes. As a health professional I was confused because i had never heard that genital herpes could present on the mouth. But the sexual health nurse informed me that it’s uncommon but you can have cold sores on your mouth that are  HSV2 from giving oral sex, it’s not as common as cold sores orally are usually HSV1 but it works vice versa. Both strains can end up on any body mucosa. Initially I was very distraught and though my life was over, I felt suicidal. I was questioning my future, if I’d ever be a mother or have a partner that was willing to accept this. But after a lot of research and conversations with friends, I decided to not allow this stigma to dictate my life. The more I spoke about it I realised a lot of my friends also have a form of HSV and we’re hiding within the stigma, afraid to tell anyone. My boyfriend and I at the time eventually broke up due to other reasons, he was accepting of it and there were no issues with our sex life at all. I eventually started dating again and tried to navigate how to disclose my virus to dates. It took a lot of courage but the more I disclosed the easier it became, I honestly haven’t had a negative encounter with any male about my virus. I think that people really respect transparency and honesty. I won’t lie, it actually had men falling at my feet. I like to think it’s because they value and respect me for being so honest and open about it. It’s also led to me being more in touch with my body, more open with my sexuality and led me to feel more comfortable with sexual partners. I know have the best sex that I’ve ever had in my life, it can still be daunting to disclose for the first time to a partner but it’s the right thing to do and has never led to a bad reaction. I honestly don’t have many outbreaks at all but it can still be transmitted without symptoms. I have a very healthy sexual relationship with myself and my current partner. I now almost forget that it even exists within my body. I now love talking about it with friends and people that I meet to hopefully raise awareness around it and promote sexual health. After all we all have sex, sex comes with consequences like everything else. Sex is normal, STDs are a normal consequence of sex. It’s important to be open about it as 70% of the population has a strain of HSV whether they know it or not. I don’t look back at my diagnosis and get sad about it anymore or think why me, as it’s unlocked a healthy sexual life for me and actually made me a more confident person.  These are important conversations to have with any sexual partner and we should be having these conversations more.

How do you bring it up with new sexual partners that you have HSV?

I initially wrote out a little template in notes for the first few times and just shot them a text after one or two dates just to help myself digest and disclosing. For me I like to disclose early on because I like to think it weeds out the people who aren't suited to me. If someone is going to stigmatise me for having a STD then they’re not the right person for me anyway. I want to be understood and respected in all of my relationships. 

An example would be-

"Hey, there’s something I want to discuss with you before we continue dating. I have HSV2, also known as herpes. I want to be open and transparent with you and tell you sooner rather than later. It’s actually more common than we realise. This isn’t something that greatly affects me but it’s something that you should be aware of. I don’t get many outbreaks and there are a lot of ways to practice safe sex and avoid transmission. Your health is just as important as mine. So I value your decision if this is a deterrent for you. If you have any questions I’m an open book. Let me know how you feel about this."

They usually have a friend who has HSV or knows someone close to them or have it themselves, I’ve had so many guys respond and say actually I test positive also. Then I use it as a tool to educate people also. Most people have no issue with it at all and have a positive response which is really refreshing. 

Do you have any advice for our community who have been recently diagnosed, places you have found supportive?

My advice would be not to beat yourself up about it, it’s not the end of the world. I promise you’ll go on to have beautiful, loving, and accepting relationships. It’s hard to open up about it due to all the guilt and shame you might feel but opening up about it to a friend can do wonders. Visit the sexual health clinic, the nurses there are amazing and made me feel like it wasn’t a death sentence. They see it day in and day out. There’s a Facebook page “herpes support group” which is great for support and people posting questions that anyone can respond to with support and advice that really got me through my initial diagnosis. 

Also a girl on TikTok “Suzbub” is a massive herpes advocate and only posts HSV related content so she is really helpful too. 

149 comments

  • Nikia Tucker on

    I have come to find out that herbal medicine its the best solution to all STDs and STIs and other health related threatening issues/diseases, cause i was once tested positive for herpes and i have lived with it for about 5 years tried all form of medication all to know avail, until i get a recommendation from someone online about herbal medicine fro Dr Ofua, indeed i actually do a little/more research about the Herbalist and found out he has the possible cure to my ailment, i gave it a try by contacting him on WhatsApp messenger +2347059497969 or email thegreatherbalhealinghome@gmail.com he had the herbal medicine he sent to me and gave me dietary instructions to follows up while using the herbal medicine, he suggest that i used the medicine for a period of 21 days that after then i should go for a check up at the hospital to know the status of my herpes, which i actually did, after few weeks as recommended by him, I go for check up and behold i was now tested Negative, ever since then i have vowed to let everyone knows that herbal medicine is the solution to any diseases/infections, despite these Big pharma company trying to makes us not to use herbal medicine framing all sort of bad reviews just to diminished herbal medication for their selfish interest and big wallets purpose, my advice to you all is that try herbal medicine today and be glad that you have tried it and i assured you that if you do you will have cause to share a testimony online just am doing now, visit Websites: ( https://dr-ofua-ofure-herbal-healing-home.business.site) to know more about the great herbalist that help me and am sure he too will help you.

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  • juwan james on

    HOW I GOT HEAL FROM HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS BY DR ISHIAKU HERBS

    I want to inform the public how I was cured of herpes Virus by a Doctor called Dr ISHIAKU. I visited different hospitals but they gave me a list of drugs like Famvir, Zovirax, and Valtrex which are very expensive to treat the symptoms and never cured me. I was browsing through the Internet searching for remedies on Herpes and I saw comments of people talking about how Doctor Ishiaku cured them. I Was scared because I never believed in the Internet but I was convinced to give him a try because I had no hope of being cured of herpes so I decided to contact him on his email, i searched his email on the net and I saw a lot of people testifying about his goodness. When I contacted him he gave me hope and sent a Herbal medicine to me that I took and it seriously worked for me, am a free person now without any problems, my HERPES result came out negative. You can contact him on his email: (ishiakuherbalcure@yahoo.com) or what – sapp him via +2348180828544 and get all your problems solved.
    1)Sickness of any kind
    2)Help to cure HEPATITIS B, DIABETICS, and BIPOLAR
    3)Divorce, Breakup problem, To Re-unit or to cast a spell
    4)Pregnancy problem
    5)Financial problem and Job promotion
    6)bad mouth odour or tooth problem
    7)eye or ear problem etc

    Note: DR ISHIAKU HERBAL MEDICATION ARE 100% DR SEBI APPROVED

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