We hear the word kinky used quite often and rather loosely, but do we really know what it means in the context of intimacy and what that looks like? 

Dirty? Sordid? Hush Hush? Freak in the sheets? We’re about to delve a little deeper… 

The dictionary definition claims that it is “unusual or abnormal sexual behaviour,” but according to ‘sexperts’ and I’m sure most of our community, this definition is quite off the mark. Let’s get one thing straight - kinky doesn’t mean abnormal! 

Let’s say that ‘normal’ sex (in the eyes of our trusty Oxford Dictionary) is: - between two people 

- in the dark 

- in one position 

Now although there’s nothing wrong with taking things back to basics, this doesn’t reflect the majority of people’s sexual behaviours or desires in the context of intimacy and pleasure. 

Choking. Hair tugging. Role play. Costumes. Ilo Wellness sex toys. Sex tapes. Multi-person sex. Body candle play w/ Ilo Wellness Melt Massage Candle (this is super enjoyable btw). Paddles & Handcuffs. Body Massage w/ Ilo Wellness Fondle Oil. Guess what? These are ALL kinky customs, because it all strays from the ‘norm’. Once we realise there is no ‘norm’ when it comes to intimacy, the sooner we will stop stigmatizing these kinks and appreciate them for how exciting they can be! 

Wanting to kink up your sexual experience? Here’s what we recommend: 

1. Ask yourself the question- What do I like? What are my fantasies? What excites me? Allow your thoughts to run wild. Once you’ve identified what you like, then… 
2. Do your research. Ask your friends or sexual partner(s). Look into movies, books, podcasts, etc. Curiosity leads to new beginnings after all. 
3. Try it out. You’ll never know if you don’t try. Start integrating it into your sexual experience in baby steps. Some kinks may appeal to you more than others, and some you may not be the slightest bit interested in. This is a very normal reaction to have. Try incorporating adult toys, the Ilo Wellness Ring has been designed for couples play. 

Our community has never shied away from optimising their sexual wellness or trying different methods to maximise their pleasure. It’s super healthy to check in with your kinkometer every now and again to see what excites you. Get exploring!

Ilo Wellness x

Written by Margaux Dalgleish